Tag Archives: setting boundaries

It’s Not Easy to Be Kind

Kindness is a complex enough act that it requires some context. During a genuine act of kindness, a being feels united with something greater than he or she previously imagined themselves to be. The spark of that union is sacred, and it is expressed in the moment as a gift. This gift is unconditional caring and a recognition of the Divine as another. In this moment the individual expression is at its peak, shining the union into tangible words or acts. Even the air is charged with this energy.

Kindness is not sacrifice in the sense that nothing is lost – full individuality is intact and purified in the moment of self-delusion. Kindness is a sacrifice in the original sense of the word – a moment is made sacred by a connection between the Divine and its individual sparks to exceed the sum of the parts.

As with any gesture, there are many levels of depth and consciousness with which that gesture can be made. Certainly, uttering a kind word to someone without making real connection to a seeming other is a start. However, this gesture can unfold deeper and broader into the more profound gesture of relationship, which transcends the superficial human-generated boundaries. A kind word can encapsulate Divine-inspired generosity of heart, and the heart can shine Loving-Kindness unbounded.

However, I’ve learned that there are many people who distrust kindness – and, perhaps, for good reason. In the tradition of doublespeak of our social structures, it is likely that people have appeared kind to disarm, betray, or take advatage of someone in a vulnerable moment. Many have been trained to avoid kindness because there are probably strings attached and debts accrued. Such a precious gift cannot be freely offered, can it? This is true, and one has to be streetsmart about reality. Not everyone will welcome kindness and many will avoid it as a snare.

Of course, the energy vampires will be glad to gain sympathy, empathy, and kindness as an opening to suck someone dry. The people who make you tired are probably feasting on you and are unprepared for the true exchange of kindness. In this case, you must see through and avoid or neutralize such traps.

Another possibility is when a recipient of kindness views it as a weakness on your part. Then, you have no choice but to be a bitch to that person because that is all that person can respect at this time. However, you can act like a bitch without feeling and identifying with the bitchiness. It is a necessary act to maintain balance.

In other words, it is likely that your genuine kindness will be thwarted, feared, avoided, or taken as an invitation to destroy you. Nonintuitive to an innocent, but true. Just try it – be a bitch to people who don’t respect you and see what happens – they may grumble at first, talk about how you’ve changed, but quickly settle in.

Nevertheless, there are those who are ready for you to be authentically kind. They will be your friends and companions on this journey. They will treat you with care and compassion, and you will be free to do the same. Such relationships are magical friendships, surpassing any #relationshipgoals. These connections ignite creativity, energize, and heal.

One would think that everyone would welcome kindness, but careful study of human dynamics proves otherwise.

During the dry spells of absent genuine human interaction, there is only a deepening of Divine connection and finding spontaneous creative expression in the sanctitude of your space. No dry spell lasts, but the connections you share down the road will be much more potent and profound. Never be anybody’s patsy – if you are giving up yourself to others to be torn apart (like a hyena kill), you are not respecting yourself and are incapable of being truly kind anyway.

Kindness offers what is needed in the moment, whether delicate flowers or hard boundaries. Take care never lose your innocence, even when the world demands it. It is the way, for now….