Tag Archives: mystic

The Divine Is Not “Impersonal”

The Divine is not impersonal in the way most think – like a force that simply shuffles things around. The Divine is conscious and alive. One can unite with Divinity and express this Union in physical form.

In my experience, there is a difference between personal and individual.

Personal reminds me of a phrase “don’t take it personally,” which involves an emotional reaction. Taking something personally then means identifying with an emotion – “I am sad,” “I am disturbed,” and so on.

Individual signifies uniqueness for both processing experiences and expressing the synthesis of what one currently is. A free, or enlightened, individual identifies with the process of Life, and not with the body, emotions, and thinking. Consciousness of the Life process continuously evolves and, paradoxically, takes one deeper into understanding the role of the body, emotions, and thought – as a unique, or individual, embodiment of the Divine. Light is not an idea or a visual – it can be felt by the body. Consequently, relationships to people and to our planet, among other things, are stronger and bullshit-free – not weaker.

I have often written about enlightenment as an impersonal state that is an individualized state. Far from meaning detachment and dissociation, the free state dives deeper into existence without filters and blockades of personality-biased perceptions.

The nature-nurture view of personality is limited because we have the ability to trascend and integrate our biology and life experiences. Union with the Divine transcends the strictly physical and New Age perspective on life without rejecting or distancing oneself from Life at all. This is not intuitive. In fact, from the viewpoint of either suffering or enjoying world life, it would seem that enlightenment is a kind of checking-out from the human experience. And that is simply not the way it appears to work.

As a mystic, I cannot debate or prove what I live. However, I am not the only mystic who has lived or does live in this state. The mystic just wants to unite with the Divine, Which is largely unknowable by the mind and mental analysis. There is so much to what lives us that I am not sure if the sky has a top, or the well has a bottom.

This union is not an experience of the senses, but a transfiguration of the role the senses play. One bypasses the reactive stickiness of ideas and semantics and blind acceptance of any ideas. The process of Union continues, and a mystic integrates, embodies, and shines.

A mystic does not sit with the priests and priestesses of the world because there is no need to convert, convince, or play societal games of structural organization.

So why am I writing anything at all?

I write to express what is possible for a human being – a state that is free from the duality of this or that in life and knee-jerk reactions to life circumstances. However, in this state you still experience everything – even more than you did from a personal standpoint.

I do not wish for anyone to suffer or to be to deluded into a numb, fragmented, and confused way of living that negates one’s uniqueness and potential. I know how difficult it is to imagine a way of living other than the way we live until a new possibility is presented because I remember it. Although, I am beginning to “forget” the direct experience of the past me because I no longer relate to it.

The internet is loaded with essays, podcasts, videos, and books with various messages about our lives. However, a simple message seems muted: it is possible to yearn and enter into continuous union with the Divine while still being in relationship to body, mind, emotions, and people in an authentic, ever-deepening way. Imagine a world of beings who uniquely embody the Divine and move through Life as That – what would such a life look like? Could that be where we are headed as humanity?

People would feel a profound care for all and want to serve and connect to others in real and authentic ways. How else would you view life if you are no longer feeling trapped in a self-absorbed bubble that projects fear? There would also be a profound care for oneself. This vision is not a “hive mind” society, but a collective of unique beings as different facets of the Divine. When there is no impetus to harm, creativity would not be threatening to others. The cognitive resources currently used to orchestrate survival and status would be freed up to cooperate in Life and as Life.

Would there be competition? Would that be when competition becomes truly fun because the identity no longer rides on winning or losing or not playing a game? Would there be debates? Perhaps, but not divorced from feeling the aliveness of the subject matter, whereas mentally-abrasive logical arguments currently go another way. Would there be rules? Possibly mutually agreed-upon rules, such as when mature adults reach agreements without denigrating another or trying to pull a fast one on people.

New groupings will emerge as cultures, and new traditions would evolve – based on multidisciplinary interests and ways of expressing. And some older cultures would choose to remain. The new economics model would be based on what is needed, what people can offer, and their unique exploration of life. The latter is frequently ignored today, and people hold on to jobs they hate while feeling robbed (in multiple ways). Communism and socialism? No. Sanity? Yes. If we have learned anything from some indiginous cultures it is that they are communities of individuals as Spirit, and the leaders are also moving as Spirit.

Maybe as you read this, you are thinking of the Star Trek futuristic vision. But I am not describing that. Because people would no longer need to get pats on the back or gold stars or ceremonies, everything changes. Such a vision develops naturally, when the curiousity spark (coupled with Divine union) relates to the cosmos.

Very few talk about this possibility for our human race because there is no visible model of groups interacting without pettiness, or without the need to attack or defend. Also, there is no way to test this possibility scientifically because enlightenment is still a highly subjective term – the proverbial pie in the sky. And just because someone is a skilled listener and communicator does not mean they identify with the Divine.

Jaque Fresco was bold enough to posit The Venus Project, but it lacks a vision for transition and implementation, not to mention the importance of Divine union. His vision requires a central computer to obtain global data and allocate resources. Hmmm…. His publicized model would fail because wherever people go, there they are – many are disconnected from life and are simply seeing to their purely self-absorbed interests, uncontrolled violent tendencies, and the habitual need to establish dominance. Although he claims that people will coexist peacefully when all their basic needs are met, I have observed many cunning and agressive people who are fairly “well-off.” Because he recently received an award from the UN, his work becomes even more suspect. The New World Order, driven by the UN Agenda 21 and Agenda 2030, is not the kind of community anyone would choose willingly because it requires controlling human beings to keep them docile and killing their birthright for individualism – perhaps even for true Union with the Divine. Smart cities giving us more leisure would degrade into many people losing themselves in games, virtual reality, and superficial parties. I picture Roman vomitoriums and a slave class of some sort in the background cleaning it. Do the new generations even know how to do anything besides try to escape reality? Their need to escape the “mundane” would ultimately prevail and be a certain death for us. This way of “living” (existing) would be a true crime against humanity.

That is why I write. I try to express what I live as hints and breadcrumbs in a world that is currently wrestling with its very survival. To be individuals, we must – well – be individuals and take responsibility for understanding the conscious and unconscious forces that drive us. Then, we can find our yearning for the Divine and engage with transformation. Otherwises, the class of the masses will be just that – mouldable by emotional reactivity.

I have to get deeper into writing about possible transition scenarios (no, it would not involve culling the population). Most ingrained systems would need to be dismantled in strategic and gradual ways – with much courage. I can imagine the opposition….

Language and history does not popularize living as free and sane individuals. Instead, we are surrounded by criticisms about everything, but very few visions of what our human race could live like without turning us into, for example, cyborgs or biological automatons (as currently proselytized by Ray Kurweil, Elon Musk, and even deGrasse Tyson). There is no holistic vision yet for how to make life sparkle for humanity without subverting the majority into some form of slavery. As long as the Divine remains an other or nonexistent and people remain disconnected, a society of equals is just not possible.

Also, technology – like the mind – is a tool. However, a tool is only as beneficent as its user. Technology will not bring about authentic and individualized connection among the human race. Has Facebook or Twitter done anything tangible to help people realize that something much greater than ideology unites the planet? Or have these tools fueled further distraction from our true nature and hosted divisive war parties or complicity?

The Divine does not require a priesthood, aliens, conspiracies, or social engineers, but teachers do appear to be necessary to help others. Those who teach do so in a strange way – by being, by living, and (in a relatively small part) by verbal communication.

Very few are true teachers who have burst their self-oriented bubble and have given their lives over to the Divine. Most who claim enlightenment remain, instead, a priesthood riding high on how much of a following they have, how “right” they are, or how much money they can make. Some are more subtle than others, but are false leaders nonetheless.

Enlightenment comes with some understanding, but one is not instantly omniscient in all Life processes. Be wary of someone who presents predictions with certainty – the future is not set in stone. And, exploration in an enlightened state is much more fun and with no stress when one is allowed to just be and is inspired (literally). The Divine awaits for us to fan our spark into its flame and breathes us with endless inspiration and aspiration.

Please leave me a comment if you have a question or an insight. What is your current idea of the Divine? What is your vision for life of the human race?

Fighting the Self-Hatred Epidemic

***After I pulsed out the original version of this post, I got feedback. Thank you for the questions. It is important to get this right – I learn from you every day.***

There is an epidemic spreading and taking root in the West. It is subtle and nearly invisible in some cases, and more blatant in others. Most importantly, there is a cure, but this cure requires us to recognize the epidemic in the first place. If we are not afflicted, then we can try to help others as best we can.

When the New Age movement started, many fine authors talked about the importance of self-love. There was a stir in the Western world to become more gentle with oneself, to heal the inner child, and to learn to set boundaries with inappropriate behaviors and people. This was good. What is so important about self-love anyway, besides a better quality of life?

It turns out that self-love is not just an emotion or a feeling. Instead, it is an actual configuration of the physical and more subtle nervous systems to receive and be able to hold Spirit in form. Without self-love we literally reject uniting with Spirit and we block Its connection to, through, and as Us. Alternatively, even if we achieve Union, our nervous system can literally fry from this energy if it is unprepared to hold It. There are many pathways to Union with Spirit – there have to be – but the milestones of levels of freedom or degrees of Union appear to be similar. I am not just talking about Kundalini energy here – raising Kundalini energy is no guarantee of enlightenment.

Now the self-hatred epidemic is running rampant again. We had received doses of an antiobiotic, but then built immunity. There are forces at work in this world that have an interest in devolving the majority of the human race, and these forces have been working in new, different, and more conniving ways to manipulate people to accept self-hatred as the norm – and even believe that they feel self-love while engaging in self-loathing. This may not apply to you because you see through it, I understand, and yet there are many caught in this net at this time.

Who or what would wish to sabotage the human race in this way? Think about it…. An enlightened global community is very dangerous to those who believe the world population must be controlled – and enlightened beings are fundamentally free and happy (i.e., not controllable). The easiest way to keep developed populations down is by instilling hidden belief systems that one is fundamentally flawed and screwed up the core, unworthy, guilty, crazy, and just generally meaningless. There are entire theses in think tanks about how to manage world dynamics! Of course there are…. While people go about their daily lives, there are those who carefully deliberate how to generate stability and instability in various communities at various times to achieve control.

One would think that such a negative framework pervading social structures would drive mass majority to suicide, but that is not the case. Instead, it lulls the population into a kind of low- or mid-grade depression, inertia, and various autoimmune responses, OR the perversion of self-love as narcissism, racism, and other forms of “better-than-you”-isms. Both ends of the spectrum are breeding-grounds for separation at the Soul level, fueled by increased distractions that take one away from the simple core idea that one can achieve Union with Spirit and embody It uniquely with full consciousness of the Whole.

Thousands of years ago, yogis attained enlightenment in caves and on river edges, under trees and while sitting on wild grass. They discovered that the human nervous system was capable of a transformation that would ignite all form with Spirit to manifest a new kind of life that would emphasize our creative potential, making fear and the fight for survival obsolete. However, there are those who want to make enlightenment impossible for the human race by destabilizing the psyche, overwhelming people with work or the lack of work, monopolizing people’s attention with distractions, and ultimately damaging our nervous systems to make us permanently unable to feel the flow of Life. Yes, imagine that our nervous systems become so rigid to change and numbed by fear that we become trapped as fragmented consciousness in matter until the world simply winds down – which it will, some day. In other words, we will begin to forget more and more that we are fragments of One Spirit AND be completely convinced that we have achieved full potential at the same time! That is the worse case scenario – not knowing that we don’t know.

We must fight for our lives and sanity from a place of peace to be truly available to pure intention and attention, and resist the urge to fight from a place of anger and sadness. We must, once again, build reminders into our day to choose self-kindness and use these moments to invite Spirit in and embrace It. Once again, we must find good counselors to heal various traumas and let these go. When we are bombarded with messages to fear for our lives, we must flick a switch to choose relationship to every aspect of our lives, to forgive ourselves, and to let go into simple being. This is a moment-by-moment practice, relentless and filled with heart-felt yearning.

Another result of the lack of self-love is the desire to escape. The opiode epidemic is only one example. Besides drugs and alcohol, there are also emerging belief systems that we are shifting into a new Earth (and leaving the “unready” behind). But there is just this Earth – this one right now, and with this you and everything else on it. And if you think about it, is escaping and leaving others behind spiritual, even if it were possible?

The desire to escape suffering and pain is built into the manipulation and prepares masses to become lost in video games and, ultimately, “virtual fiction” reality – possibly removed many levels from this reality. We already see this behavior taking over many people because “it feels better than reality.” Sadly, this trend takes us deeper into the dark well of devolution. We must fight to feel the Sun on our faces, the grass and sand between our toes, and the touch of another’s hand in our hand to remain connected.

True freedom does not require any specific material or life conditions to be happy and awake. Life does not have to work out for you to become free and feel happy. How can it be freedom otherwise? It’s nice when things go well. But things don’t always go well. When stuff happens, does the enlightened state disappear or go on hold? No.

The yearning for enlightenment can die for us if we buy into unconscious self-rejection and escape. This would be tragic when we have the key to a revolution and an unhinged marriage of Spirit and Matter as individual expression. Enlightenment does not require props – only a consistent leap of faith that it is very possible for you, and the intense yearning to break through.

The great news is that the Light is always there and ready for you. It waits, poised for that instant when you accept yourself just long enough for It to get in and stay. You will literally feel a physical sensation of It pouring into the crown of your head and taking hold of the brain stem – and that is only the beginning. It has to stabilize.

There are endless opportunities all day long to yearn, release, and surrender to what lives you. Self-hatred and the Light are like oil and water, and the meditation must become a fight with the total fire of your will to burn through the thicket that falsely guards and separates you from the truth.

The new mantra is that “all the truth is within.” Sure, but we may not be able to understand it or even misinterpret it. Some say “we don’t need teachers – we can do it ourselves.” If it were that easy, we would have all done it by now and be living as a world community of free beings. But this is not the case, is it?

We have to be practical and streetsmart about spirituality for it to continue to be a force for good. For many, this means seeing through self-hatred, the desire to control and dominate, the need to be right, be powerful, be knowledgeable, be smarter, be “good-er.”

We are at a tipping point of falling into deeper illusion or waking up. There are enlightened beings. They just live – mostly incognito. Why are they still here, working hard amidst the dark tragedies, human hardships, and atrocities still going on? Why haven’t they just vanished into the rainbow of the “next level”? After they die, there will be others. But, at some point, the world may reject such beings altogether – it is not easy to be on the Earth plane in a free state, but this does not equate to suffering in human terms.

We can keep the candle of human potential burning by being practical and real with ourselves, questioning everything about our influences and our state, testing ourselves, and rejecting messages that we are flawed or better than others. This will be a fight that can only end in total transformation.

The test for enlightenment is simple – if you do not spend all of your time and during any activity feeling Life, being meditated by Life, and yearning for all to be free, then you are not yet enlightened. If you feel the need to defend or attack anything about yourself, you are not yet awake. If you take pride in what you are, you are not yet happy – because the little you is still there, needing a bigger I. If you need to escape – even as most cry out for help, you are not yet free – free beings tend Unity like a sacred garden. You can have “heaven” in any situation. If you are not living This, you are not yet free.

I often hear the question “Is enlightenment bullshit?” If the torch of true freedom is put out then yes, yes it is….

What Is Full Enlightenment?

The flow of Life is continuous, even relentless. Once you have stepped on the spiritual path with heartfelt yearning for freedom, you will be offered – in no uncertain terms – the option to surrender and let go every step of the way. If you pause, you will see all the microchoices that you face every moment to let go.

When I stepped on this path in early childhood, I did not understand what I yearned for. It was a sense of direction without a clear destination.

When my teacher told me “she will go all the way,” I deflected the insight. First, I felt unworthy. Second, I did not understand what that meant – what is “all the way”?

Minor and sequential enlightenments occur perhaps for most people, rather than one big bang of realization. In my previous posts, I talked about how these transitions are stable states of being, and not fleeting experiences. Each one is a radical shift in perception and relationship to Life.

When the being loses all identity, it is like an eddy rejoining the Life Stream – all sense of separation disappears and many paradoxes emerge:

  • You are impersonal, yet radiate unconditional love (everything is known as a fragment of the One)
  • You feel deeply, but no emotions stick – they pass through. At the core, there is unperturbed and unconditional happiness.
  • You see situations clearly as flash intuition, but you also use the mind as a tool to communicate logically. The whole process of thinking is revamped into something altogether different.
  • You may act in extreme ways to express the Divine and to loosen the knots of others, but you can also act composed and “clean up well”

I have written about our individual lives as mini-processes, occurring simultaneously as part of One unified process. We are not objects or things, but a chain of events and relationships. That, in itself, is quite a realization. Eventually, the whole arrangement and function of charkas changes, including their unification (the 7 chakras people discuss are repurposed, and I will save this for a separate post). And we are so much more than chakras – it is indescribable.

But when does it end, this evolution? When do things stop changing so dramatically, and perhaps monthly or even weekly? How often can a being withstand the proverbial rug being pulled from under their feet? At some point, do we simply dissolve into Unity and move on to whatever the next level may be?

I was given a choice and made a vow to stay with the planet and support its evolution. This vow is not a simple promise, but a reconfiguration of Being to postpone leaving the body as long as possible and perform service. By no means is this martyrdom or sacrifice – it is just the right choice for me. All choices are possible.

Some beings move on and shed the body. See, with each enlightenment stage, old energies are dumped into the body. The more changes you undergo, the more “stuff” is dumped into the vehicle. Of course, it is tempting to dump the whole thing and move on.

Well, in my case, I am now challenged with transforming my physical body. I cannot “dump it.” I must relive and release everything that is unable to serve as a portal for the Light. Otherwise, I will continue to experience pain and exhaustion, and eventually let go because the body will cease to function.

So, if you were to see my body on the other planes, you would see it ablaze with a purifying fire – in totality. You would see sparks flying off each time I relive and release the trapped energies in the physical form.

It makes sense – Spirit purifies the subtle bodies first, and the physical level could be the last. I’ve read about Saddhus fasting before or after awakenings, and that also makes sense – you shed the physical parts that no longer serve your Life process.

But this is not just an ordinary diet change. Instead, it is a fully conscious participation in the purification of the physical process – not form. Form is a misnomer because it implies calories, fat cells, organs, and so on. Process implies function. The purifying process is consciousness directly and intimately reorganizing the body connection to the Life Stream, intuitively choosing foods and supplements, but also burning what lays unresolved – perhaps from lifetimes ago.

I am undergoing something that is so intense that I am not sure how it will come through. But it doesn’t really bother me at the core level.

I know who I am and have been in past lives. I can see why the pyre burns so brightly. I know there is no way but through.

I am thankful for my husband and my cat brother. Don’t laugh – some animals are very connected to who we are and help us in profound ways. I am thankful for the children I have – sensitive and unique. They have seen me go through so much already. It is what it is.

A Master’s Field

Every person has an energetic presence that goes beyond the physical form. You can feel it strongly from highly charismatic personalities. For most, this energy is a way to continuously create and nourish the body. The energy flow is primarily directed to the self – to get something.

When one goes through the various changes of transforming perception and participation in Life, the energy field changes. First, the consciousness is stabilized as Spirit (not as the body, mind, or emotions), and this consciousness flows through the body to relate to all material aspects of life. This current reversal is optimized to give, and all fruits of connection are returned to the Divine. Thus, the body becomes a gateway of relationship of Spirit and World – and the body is critical to making the connection.

The energy field of a Master is no longer a mechanism to fortify personal needs. Instead, this field is a dynamic force that transcends space and time, and operates beyond space and time.

You can imagine how different everyday reality must seem to a Master who interacts with the planet to know her, help her heal, and model for her true freedom.

The field of a Master has a direct and potent effect on people. The Master is like a transmitter that sends out a wave of what it is like to be free of illusion. It happens quite naturally and without any agenda. The Master is merely being who he or she is.

Those who feel a Master – any of them – even unconsciously – are ignited and even guided to shed illusion for Spirit. The Masters serve as living examples and aid those who yearn in any way possible. They never interfere or direct anyone’s life. But they do help to provide souls with real, tangible glimpses of true awakening and the release of identifying with suffering. This is continuous, 365 and 24/7, while a Master is alive.

The Masters who can still relate to people as individuals serve in the trenches of human existence and may have frequent interactions with people. None of these interactions are simplistic, regardless of how random they may seem or how “unimportant” in the great scheme of things. By being who they are, Masters reflect to others their state and show them alternative possibilities to healed freedom. Each interaction is custom-tailored to a soul’s needs. Regardless of their day jobs (and they do have day jobs), these Masters simply relate to others completely and with a loving, generous heart. There is no effort or self control necessary – it is natural.

Some people yearn for Spirit with such longing that they may gravitate and enter a Master’s field. Most are unaware consciously that they have done this, but eventually they know. Some part of these longing hearts wished to have help, and that heartfelt wish was answered. The Master provides a temporary respite for these souls in his or her field without having to consciously think of each and every single one. There is a flash of insight that knows, and this insight is potent. There they are, swimming in the light of the field, as they go about their daily lives. As they swim, they gain insight about themselves and their lives – mostly because the Master’s field amplifies their own connection to Spirit. The world is full of distractions, but the Master has no need of being reminded to meditate, serve – and that remembrance is everpresent and shared via the Master’s field.

Who are these Masters? They are humans who have gone through a natural transformation awaiting the human race. They are on the Earth and alive, but no longer tied up in its ups and downs. They see the truth nature of a soul and know its beauty – even before that soul knows what it really is. They live because they are alive – simple, but not trite – and death is not a concern, nor a wish. They no longer have anything to gain for the self. Their laughter is potent music that shakes loose the stuckness of spaces and situations, and many laugh a lot! One way to view a Master is just as another kind of mentor, really.

How do you know if you have an energetic field that can awaken others? Simply watch if the ones close to you are waking up to be more independent in their relationship to their growth, stabilizing their lives in the world, and are becoming less self-absorbed…. But be careful…. One does not set a goal to become a Master and to “free” others. Instead, one focuses on one’s own evolution, facing many tests for self-absorption and attachments. These tests are difficult, and even some advanced souls become stuck in their thicket, even while posturing as the enlightened.

When you become a Master over illusion and surrender yoursel, there is no party, no big celebration, and no fanfare of any kind. It just is, and it comes gradually. Although, our world does feel a shift and sounds a joyful note beyond the range if hearing for most. In fact, it is best if you doubt your attainment every step of the way and assume you are still ignorant until there is much proof that things are otherwise. And, ignorance is always relative 🙂

We are all interconnected, and some connections run stronger and deeper than others. Those who have broken through the veil of illusion are there and still evolving and learning from absolutely ever, for evolution never ends. While they are there, they shine steady until their dying day.

What does it mean to be a mystic?

The world has so many spiritual movements and teachers. Although I have had teachers, I do not have a lineage. My path has led me through a transformation, and I was then on my own to integrate what had happened. Often I would receive insights, but the primary insight was to trust the wisdom of the Heart and to rely fully on the Light. And this keeps me continuously accountable. I cannot plan or know, but only listen with the Heart and respond.

It was very challenging for me to accept that I have no formal lineage. However, I’ve since learned that strong yearning and love for the Divine opens other avenues for us to continue learning and surrendering to the process of life.

At this time, my love for the Divine is All-consuming. There is not a moment when I am not in the Light’s embrace. I feel my Heart flood with love, and there is spontaneous expression of that love – as called by the moment.

I am literally drunk on this love, intoxicated by the delight of knowing who I am. The union of the body and the infinite is a play of life and fire, and everything else is kindling.

Flashes of debris in the body are quickly thrown into the everburning Spiritual Fire, and consumed as quickly as they arise. I know that I am this Fire, and thus I am nothing to speak of.

I suppose one would call me a mystic because the Union of the Divine is ever unfolding and I know that is all there is. Interestingly, my bithplace – Azerbaidjan –  was a place of the Sufi mystics.

There is also a practical side to this way of being – I attend to daily responsibilities with a wildly burning heart. What I notice is that it is very clear which are my responsibilities, and which are my choices. The Fire of Love in my heart is ever there to ignite my relationship with any task.

I find it interesting that some people find this Love, which requires nothing less than complete surrender to the Divine, frightening… If they felt it even once, they would know that all other love falls short….They would taste this love and never stop longing for it. However, the initial turmoil that comes with the longing is not a joke. And, for those who do not want this, perhaps it is better to never take that first drink from the cup of Love…

I’ve also learned that the craving for Divine Union must come from an individual after their awakening is ignited. While a teacher can stoke the Fire, the individual must choose via his or her free will to surrender to the flame – to the dissolution of separation. This process can be frightening until one crosses the point of no return. Then, the fear is simply drowned by the yearning.

Ultimately, the only thing that matters is – do you know who you are. I know that I am no longer anything to speak of…