Tag Archives: healing

Fighting the Self-Hatred Epidemic

***After I pulsed out the original version of this post, I got feedback. Thank you for the questions. It is important to get this right – I learn from you every day.***

There is an epidemic spreading and taking root in the West. It is subtle and nearly invisible in some cases, and more blatant in others. Most importantly, there is a cure, but this cure requires us to recognize the epidemic in the first place. If we are not afflicted, then we can try to help others as best we can.

When the New Age movement started, many fine authors talked about the importance of self-love. There was a stir in the Western world to become more gentle with oneself, to heal the inner child, and to learn to set boundaries with inappropriate behaviors and people. This was good. What is so important about self-love anyway, besides a better quality of life?

It turns out that self-love is not just an emotion or a feeling. Instead, it is an actual configuration of the physical and more subtle nervous systems to receive and be able to hold Spirit in form. Without self-love we literally reject uniting with Spirit and we block Its connection to, through, and as Us. Alternatively, even if we achieve Union, our nervous system can literally fry from this energy if it is unprepared to hold It. There are many pathways to Union with Spirit – there have to be – but the milestones of levels of freedom or degrees of Union appear to be similar. I am not just talking about Kundalini energy here – raising Kundalini energy is no guarantee of enlightenment.

Now the self-hatred epidemic is running rampant again. We had received doses of an antiobiotic, but then built immunity. There are forces at work in this world that have an interest in devolving the majority of the human race, and these forces have been working in new, different, and more conniving ways to manipulate people to accept self-hatred as the norm – and even believe that they feel self-love while engaging in self-loathing. This may not apply to you because you see through it, I understand, and yet there are many caught in this net at this time.

Who or what would wish to sabotage the human race in this way? Think about it…. An enlightened global community is very dangerous to those who believe the world population must be controlled – and enlightened beings are fundamentally free and happy (i.e., not controllable). The easiest way to keep developed populations down is by instilling hidden belief systems that one is fundamentally flawed and screwed up the core, unworthy, guilty, crazy, and just generally meaningless. There are entire theses in think tanks about how to manage world dynamics! Of course there are…. While people go about their daily lives, there are those who carefully deliberate how to generate stability and instability in various communities at various times to achieve control.

One would think that such a negative framework pervading social structures would drive mass majority to suicide, but that is not the case. Instead, it lulls the population into a kind of low- or mid-grade depression, inertia, and various autoimmune responses, OR the perversion of self-love as narcissism, racism, and other forms of “better-than-you”-isms. Both ends of the spectrum are breeding-grounds for separation at the Soul level, fueled by increased distractions that take one away from the simple core idea that one can achieve Union with Spirit and embody It uniquely with full consciousness of the Whole.

Thousands of years ago, yogis attained enlightenment in caves and on river edges, under trees and while sitting on wild grass. They discovered that the human nervous system was capable of a transformation that would ignite all form with Spirit to manifest a new kind of life that would emphasize our creative potential, making fear and the fight for survival obsolete. However, there are those who want to make enlightenment impossible for the human race by destabilizing the psyche, overwhelming people with work or the lack of work, monopolizing people’s attention with distractions, and ultimately damaging our nervous systems to make us permanently unable to feel the flow of Life. Yes, imagine that our nervous systems become so rigid to change and numbed by fear that we become trapped as fragmented consciousness in matter until the world simply winds down – which it will, some day. In other words, we will begin to forget more and more that we are fragments of One Spirit AND be completely convinced that we have achieved full potential at the same time! That is the worse case scenario – not knowing that we don’t know.

We must fight for our lives and sanity from a place of peace to be truly available to pure intention and attention, and resist the urge to fight from a place of anger and sadness. We must, once again, build reminders into our day to choose self-kindness and use these moments to invite Spirit in and embrace It. Once again, we must find good counselors to heal various traumas and let these go. When we are bombarded with messages to fear for our lives, we must flick a switch to choose relationship to every aspect of our lives, to forgive ourselves, and to let go into simple being. This is a moment-by-moment practice, relentless and filled with heart-felt yearning.

Another result of the lack of self-love is the desire to escape. The opiode epidemic is only one example. Besides drugs and alcohol, there are also emerging belief systems that we are shifting into a new Earth (and leaving the “unready” behind). But there is just this Earth – this one right now, and with this you and everything else on it. And if you think about it, is escaping and leaving others behind spiritual, even if it were possible?

The desire to escape suffering and pain is built into the manipulation and prepares masses to become lost in video games and, ultimately, “virtual fiction” reality – possibly removed many levels from this reality. We already see this behavior taking over many people because “it feels better than reality.” Sadly, this trend takes us deeper into the dark well of devolution. We must fight to feel the Sun on our faces, the grass and sand between our toes, and the touch of another’s hand in our hand to remain connected.

True freedom does not require any specific material or life conditions to be happy and awake. Life does not have to work out for you to become free and feel happy. How can it be freedom otherwise? It’s nice when things go well. But things don’t always go well. When stuff happens, does the enlightened state disappear or go on hold? No.

The yearning for enlightenment can die for us if we buy into unconscious self-rejection and escape. This would be tragic when we have the key to a revolution and an unhinged marriage of Spirit and Matter as individual expression. Enlightenment does not require props – only a consistent leap of faith that it is very possible for you, and the intense yearning to break through.

The great news is that the Light is always there and ready for you. It waits, poised for that instant when you accept yourself just long enough for It to get in and stay. You will literally feel a physical sensation of It pouring into the crown of your head and taking hold of the brain stem – and that is only the beginning. It has to stabilize.

There are endless opportunities all day long to yearn, release, and surrender to what lives you. Self-hatred and the Light are like oil and water, and the meditation must become a fight with the total fire of your will to burn through the thicket that falsely guards and separates you from the truth.

The new mantra is that “all the truth is within.” Sure, but we may not be able to understand it or even misinterpret it. Some say “we don’t need teachers – we can do it ourselves.” If it were that easy, we would have all done it by now and be living as a world community of free beings. But this is not the case, is it?

We have to be practical and streetsmart about spirituality for it to continue to be a force for good. For many, this means seeing through self-hatred, the desire to control and dominate, the need to be right, be powerful, be knowledgeable, be smarter, be “good-er.”

We are at a tipping point of falling into deeper illusion or waking up. There are enlightened beings. They just live – mostly incognito. Why are they still here, working hard amidst the dark tragedies, human hardships, and atrocities still going on? Why haven’t they just vanished into the rainbow of the “next level”? After they die, there will be others. But, at some point, the world may reject such beings altogether – it is not easy to be on the Earth plane in a free state, but this does not equate to suffering in human terms.

We can keep the candle of human potential burning by being practical and real with ourselves, questioning everything about our influences and our state, testing ourselves, and rejecting messages that we are flawed or better than others. This will be a fight that can only end in total transformation.

The test for enlightenment is simple – if you do not spend all of your time and during any activity feeling Life, being meditated by Life, and yearning for all to be free, then you are not yet enlightened. If you feel the need to defend or attack anything about yourself, you are not yet awake. If you take pride in what you are, you are not yet happy – because the little you is still there, needing a bigger I. If you need to escape – even as most cry out for help, you are not yet free – free beings tend Unity like a sacred garden. You can have “heaven” in any situation. If you are not living This, you are not yet free.

I often hear the question “Is enlightenment bullshit?” If the torch of true freedom is put out then yes, yes it is….

Living On “Single-Repeat”

You know that setting on a music player that repeats a song over and over? So much of our history – shaped by groups and individual lives – is on “single repeat.” Our instinct is to do what we know, what we have always done, what we have seen done, and what we were told to do. We are so caught up in repetition that we shut down the truly creative response that is needed from us moment to moment – that we are capable of.

I was talking to an artist today. His core belief is that the world is set up to “screw him over” no matter what he does. His other core belief is that he is “worthless.” I can see these beliefs in what he says and what he tries to hide. His subtle and overt agression masks his self-loathing. His silence, at times, masks his desire to cling to the deep-seated drama of how the world will  turned on him. His sarcasm is his way of attacking that which tries to show him that all his chains are self-crafted – and unnecessary. He clings and, at the same time, he fights.

I see people. First, the beauty and the truth of who they are, and then the chains, the anchors, and the inner demons. Most people live in bondage of perception. They believe something at their core about life, and then they see proof of this belief everywhere. Even if the perception is twisted, they don’t doubt that they live inside the illusion.

Of course, not everyone is ready to give up their core beliefs. The attachment is deeply entrenched and serves its purpose. Not all illusion is “bad” because it brings experience, even if it’s the same experience over and over. Some souls need this Life to be structured a certain way, and they derive joy from the structure – often even if the beliefs are self-negating. They don’t feel trapped and there is no problem – they describe the experience as being happy. Strangely, even unhappiness can be comfortable and comforting.

However, there are those who suffer because they feel the boundaries of their illusion. Although they are trapped, they are looking for a way out. They may not even care what lies beyond the illusion, but want to be free of it. These are tortured souls because they know they won’t find that feeling of “new” with their current awareness. 

This artist knows he is trapped, but he forgets. Over and over, life gives him opportunities to be aware in the moment, to treat each encounter as unique, and to be open and innocent to each exchange – the opposite of living out a predetermined “the world will just screw me over again and again and again…”. 

When he is reminded of what he is doing, he resists and deflects, at first. One can’t miss the internal battle of running on the tried and true circuit, and having to switch to the untried but true response. It is agonizing for him to surrender to truth in the midst of battle, and yet he tries. Over time it is taking him less and less time to see beyond his habitual perception. But he still forgets.

This is the dilemma of transformation in a nutshell – forgetfulness. This forgetfulness requires reminders, and mostly these cannot be “nice.” The Ego treats “nice” as a joke and works around gentleness in any number of ways. However, when facing a forceful confrontation and cornered after every possible deflection, it gives up and the true soul emerges (even if this is temporary). The Ego is extremely strong and entrenched – it will fight tooth and nail.

The artist keeps coming back. That is the key – persistence and a gradual letting go. There is trust that transformation can and will occur, despite numerous  challenges. You must keep coming back if you want to go all the way through the perception illusion tunnel.

Chogyam Trungpa spoke of the teacher as a skilled surgeon performing a painful operation. The art of confronting illusion is such an operation. But it is not for everyone because it is an irritant and a discomfort – who could withstand this long enough to transform? Not many, but more and more are starting to wonder.

Once the teacher is present, he or she will fight for you. When the operation starts, you will likely say at first that you changed your mind. However, you have already seen beyond the veil. And living with this without going all the way can be painful. So, you may take breaks, but you return for more. 

Of course, there are those who take the teachings and their incomplete transformation to the world to further reinforce their Ego. This has happened over and over, and incomplete understanding spreads. That is neither good not bad – it is just the way it is. At some point, people will realize they are stuck and go elsewhere.

This is the age of healers. Some people must be comforted and helped to live with the choices they make, and others must be helped to free themselves. Neither is better, it is just that the approach is different – and healers recognize and honor each other for their self-less service. After transformation, no gratitude or recognition is necessary anymore. Those healers who have crossed over know that taking money for helping ready souls transform creates karma. Only for this is there a restriction, otherwise money is neutral when handled properly as an energy exchange.

Movies and songs capture our culture quite well – and only the performers are different. They still show us why relationships do and do not work, teach us how to distract ourselves and forget, remind us how to reflect, and help us to escape from what is here and now. There truly is nothing new under the Sun, and it may not even feel new – unless you want to lift the veil from your eyes.

Ultimately, you make your choice how to live, and no one else. There are many options and all are being explored. But for those who are tired, disillusioned, even bored – ask yourself if you are ready to leave the illusion behind so much that you will muster up the strength for it. For it takes more courage and commitment than you have ever given. Your teacher will appear and stay if you are sincere, and you will evolve – and you will often ask yourself “have I had enough yet?” before the initial transformation is complete.