Tag Archives: consciousness

What Is Full Enlightenment?

The flow of Life is continuous, even relentless. Once you have stepped on the spiritual path with heartfelt yearning for freedom, you will be offered – in no uncertain terms – the option to surrender and let go every step of the way. If you pause, you will see all the microchoices that you face every moment to let go.

When I stepped on this path in early childhood, I did not understand what I yearned for. It was a sense of direction without a clear destination.

When my teacher told me “she will go all the way,” I deflected the insight. First, I felt unworthy. Second, I did not understand what that meant – what is “all the way”?

Minor and sequential enlightenments occur perhaps for most people, rather than one big bang of realization. In my previous posts, I talked about how these transitions are stable states of being, and not fleeting experiences. Each one is a radical shift in perception and relationship to Life.

When the being loses all identity, it is like an eddy rejoining the Life Stream – all sense of separation disappears and many paradoxes emerge:

  • You are impersonal, yet radiate unconditional love (everything is known as a fragment of the One)
  • You feel deeply, but no emotions stick – they pass through. At the core, there is unperturbed and unconditional happiness.
  • You see situations clearly as flash intuition, but you also use the mind as a tool to communicate logically. The whole process of thinking is revamped into something altogether different.
  • You may act in extreme ways to express the Divine and to loosen the knots of others, but you can also act composed and “clean up well”

I have written about our individual lives as mini-processes, occurring simultaneously as part of One unified process. We are not objects or things, but a chain of events and relationships. That, in itself, is quite a realization. Eventually, the whole arrangement and function of charkas changes, including their unification (the 7 chakras people discuss are repurposed, and I will save this for a separate post). And we are so much more than chakras – it is indescribable.

But when does it end, this evolution? When do things stop changing so dramatically, and perhaps monthly or even weekly? How often can a being withstand the proverbial rug being pulled from under their feet? At some point, do we simply dissolve into Unity and move on to whatever the next level may be?

I was given a choice and made a vow to stay with the planet and support its evolution. This vow is not a simple promise, but a reconfiguration of Being to postpone leaving the body as long as possible and perform service. By no means is this martyrdom or sacrifice – it is just the right choice for me. All choices are possible.

Some beings move on and shed the body. See, with each enlightenment stage, old energies are dumped into the body. The more changes you undergo, the more “stuff” is dumped into the vehicle. Of course, it is tempting to dump the whole thing and move on.

Well, in my case, I am now challenged with transforming my physical body. I cannot “dump it.” I must relive and release everything that is unable to serve as a portal for the Light. Otherwise, I will continue to experience pain and exhaustion, and eventually let go because the body will cease to function.

So, if you were to see my body on the other planes, you would see it ablaze with a purifying fire – in totality. You would see sparks flying off each time I relive and release the trapped energies in the physical form.

It makes sense – Spirit purifies the subtle bodies first, and the physical level could be the last. I’ve read about Saddhus fasting before or after awakenings, and that also makes sense – you shed the physical parts that no longer serve your Life process.

But this is not just an ordinary diet change. Instead, it is a fully conscious participation in the purification of the physical process – not form. Form is a misnomer because it implies calories, fat cells, organs, and so on. Process implies function. The purifying process is consciousness directly and intimately reorganizing the body connection to the Life Stream, intuitively choosing foods and supplements, but also burning what lays unresolved – perhaps from lifetimes ago.

I am undergoing something that is so intense that I am not sure how it will come through. But it doesn’t really bother me at the core level.

I know who I am and have been in past lives. I can see why the pyre burns so brightly. I know there is no way but through.

I am thankful for my husband and my cat brother. Don’t laugh – some animals are very connected to who we are and help us in profound ways. I am thankful for the children I have – sensitive and unique. They have seen me go through so much already. It is what it is.

One Day in the Universe

Everything rises, falls, and arises again. We are used to thinking in terms of beginnings and finalities. We look for cycles and patterns as a way to make the world seem more predictable.

We calm ourselves with fragmented insight and knowledge and cling to a promise of something better around the bend – something to look forward to. But our whole is not the Whole because the vantage point is very personal, embroiled with investment of physical, emotional, and mental energy that is but a fragment. Nevertheless, we carry on without giving the dilemma of skewed perspective much consideration.

What if you ceased looking for patterns and cycles for one day in the Universe and simply lived? It is only one day, so you can let go of any fear and anxiety…. You spend this day so fully immersed in every action that you forget to judge – anything.

You notice the fullness of the world in every spec and feel an unbridled joy that seemingly has no cause.

It is only one day, and so you let go of the past, the pain, and the discomfort of being in a body.

This one day, you find balance among all tensions of opposites and simply let go into the ever-moving Life Stream. Life is motion, someone said. So, you move unfettered by preconceptions of how life should be.

You stop the work of crafting your life, and simply embrace yourself as pure awareness. For one day, in the totality of the Universe, this is OK.

You have no need to drink because you are intoxicated by breath, by being breathed. What is breathing you? What is living you?

You realize the illusion of ownership and control because the Universe is your hands, and its stardust flows right through your fingers. You just let go into being, without defining yourself or others.

As you let go more and more, just on this day, you see all as yourself and know yourself as all. You know there is only one being here, wherever here is. You rest with eyes wide open. You may be dead or alive – there is no difference.

You’ve woken from the dream only to rest in one eternal day in the Universe that is alive at all scales – because it is One Life as many, yearning for Unity.

This Unity is the only certain thing on any day, even today.

When Time Stops and Life Flows

Forever – is composed of Nows –

‘Tis not a different time –

Except for Infiniteness –

Emily Dickinson, 690, 1929

It took me over two years to realize that I was no longer experiencing the passage of time. Now, the idea of eternity as the moment is real. So what?

We are obsessed with time because we start out wired for the finite, the ephemeral, and the temporary, and then wind down toward the end. Most fear death, and try to buy time, borrow time, stretch out moments, or become lost in the denial of the fleeting. For many, life feels like existence between the book-ends of Birth and death. But is that how it needs to be?

At first, I noticed a continuity of consciousness through both waking and sleep hours. It felt as if I was living “OneLongDay,” as I jokingly called this state of uninterrupted awareness. I slept, but I was still conscious. The sleeping state was not the same as the waking state, and I mostly knew when I was asleep – even as I remained conscious. At times, waking up felt disorienting if I didn’t know whether I was still asleep or awake, and the two states felt nearly the same.

Gradually, the continuity of perception felt more natural. I became accustomed to flowing in and out of sleep and waking states. I learned that it was not the mind that remained awake, but the consciousness beyond the mind and other perceptual tools. By identifying with That which lives us all – Spirit, the Divine, whatever you call it – I was permanently awake, regardless of the transitions between resting the body and activity.

I went through a period of overwhelm. It is amazing how much more information was pouring through my being. Because I was accustomed to processing information with the mind, I was exhausted. Later, I learned to allow flashes of insight – a way of knowing without detailed processing. This kind of knowing resembles how we use symbols – to condense information without losing meaning. Thought seems too slow now, but I find it necessary to organize my communication with others.

When I was able to grasp that time no longer existed for me (which was not obvious), I also better understood the role of the body as a gateway between Spirit and Matter. By body, I am referring to the dense and subtle vehicles that comprise our being.

For people who identify with the body, emotions, and mind, the body is mostly closed. Such a body takes in information, relates to the stimuli as experiences, and stores these experiences. In a sense, this kind of body is like a room with a closed door, and consciousness keeps packing more experiences into the room. Such confined consciousness results in a stop-and-go perception of the finite, as well as the relative feelings of time “dragging” or “rushing by.” Some speak of being “in the zone” during creative engagement, but the zone is not a permanent state.

Upon transformation, the body process reconfigures into an open gateway – Spirit flows through and as the body into Matter, and Matter is transformed and catalyzed by Spirit. Once this flow is established, perception of open-continuity becomes permanent. With nothing to break, stop, or stock the Life energy, the idea of time dissolves.

Time only has meaning when something can start and stop – when there is a fixation on starting, stopping, restarting, and so on. However, in continuity, the flow of Life energy cannot be impeded, and the experience of time loses meaning. I am guessing that this state is what some have called the eternal moment.

As I learn more, I am amazed at how crucial is the body to bringing Life to expressed potential. Our body and its transformation is the key to the eternal moment. It is the body that makes consciousness of Spirit possible and fulfills the promise of inspiring Matter.

The moment becomes eternity, but it is a dynamic, creative, and free-flowing continuity – and never boring.

The process of enlightenment transforms the body into a wide open gateway. Many talk about this state as becoming loving-kindness and hyper-perception, but this state is nothing less than true freedom. It is no wonder that a free being ceases to be self-absorbed, to live for oneself, and to focus on what one can get from life. The mechanisms that mediate such a limited relationship to Life are simply no longer there!

With the body turned into a conduit, there are no bottlenecks of unprocessed feelings or thoughts. Instead, there is dynamic flow of feeling and even healing. Any sense of being incomplete or empty is no longer possible, and the full and continuous free-flow of energy puts all neediness to rest. Only the basic needs to sustain the body remain, but these are no longer the focus.

So what? I have no idea. As I live and go through these changes, I can only share what is possible for a human being….

Truth vs. Our Role as Truth

People say: “If it’s not simple, it can’t be truth. Truth is simple.” Some truth is simple, like living a life of surrender to the Divine. But not all truth is simple – by far. By writing this article, I am holding back a lot. Some will think this is some New Age drivel, perhaps. But New Age has distorted much information – like a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle scattered on a table, and the people who spread disinformation have simply misinterpreted their experiences or copied and propagated someone else’s misinterpretations.

Most people feel enough complexity just surviving day-to-day. This is most of the human race. A small fraction is dabbling in trying to control our reality without fully understanding what they are doing – magik, mediumship, channeling, etc. Such people are quick to speak about their advanced states and exclusivity of their abilities, but so what? The fact remains that any manipulation of forces that are interconnected with others creates consequences.

My experience is that we live in a highly complex universe with many levels of interactions among many types of beings, including the beings on earth, planets, and stars. What we consider living sentient beings, on average, is too limited at this time. While the Truth of our reality is very complex and mindblowing, our role in Truth – in Life – is very simple (e.g., loving, pure, and detached service of whatever we can offer). We can focus on opening our hearts and our minds to the richness of existence while contributing our unique creativity and willingness to help. This is simple, which is why it is far from easy.

There are boundaries set by karmic law for which levels of beings are able and allowed to interact. Our Earth is only one planet with life among myriads of planets, but we are not that evolved (relatively speaking). Advanced races on the Light path, who abide by karmic law, do not come near us – they do not because we are primarily out of range of their consciousness – like a mosquito appears to a human. However, advanced races who have taken the dark path have no problem interfering with our evolution and adding to the chaos we ourselves have already caused.

There are non-human guardians posted to protect us from external interference, for we are still too self-absorbed to fully do that for ourselves. However, there are occasional bleedthroughs of alien consciousness that mixes with ours. It is my understanding that this premature mixing is not uncommon, but it does add complexity. Such guardians see our human race from the perspective of the One Spirit, of which we are fragments – they do not interact with individuals who have not reached that perspective or get involved in the minutia of our daily events.

Telling apart which information comes from which sources can only be done by a person who has reached the evolutionary level of these sources. Such people exist, but are very few. Most are still stuck in the false (lower level) light of the Astral plane, which is similar to a reflection in water full of ripples and waves. Even this “stuckness” is a normal part of the evolution of a race, as it is training people to feel beyond the physical – even if without clarity.

Some people have evolved to the point of sensing and even participating in our broader reality with clear discernment. Such people are literally invisible as Masters – you can walk by one and never know who they truly are, and they won’t tell you what they really do. That is OK too. It is all part of the stage at which we find ourselves.

While we all love interesting stories and ideas, would it be too much to accept that we don’t have a first-hand clear experience of Reality? Or, does it require too much humbleness to admit that we are ignorant of how our Reality fits together and plays out?

Would it be too much to ask that we stop looking for someone else to tell us what will happen tomorrow, and – instead – focus 100% on giving each and every day to surrender to the One Life that we are?

Would it be too much to say that, right now, most of us are in the role of taking out the trash after a messy party – on many levels, and to embrace that role with a humble heart?

The loud ones with loud claims of grandiosity are distracting those who could just as easily be involved in the cleanup role – of our bodies, our emotions and minds, our planet, and the Astral Plane…. How? Just wake up every morning and immediately ask “How can I serve today?” – the opportunities will present themselves, even if it is to serve your own true needs. This kind of keeping it real is not for the overly intellectual or the ultraspiritual because it requires the rolling up of sleeves and a strong nose for strong smell. That’s pretty simple, but far from easy for those who want to keep pretending profound transformation is easy.

Absolutely Certain There Are No Absolutes

There is one thing I learned on my journey and learned it well – the truth of our existence has more depth than the majority have even began to tap. Spiritual sayings of the wise are no substitute for experience.

Furthermore, conditions change, evolution takes place, and what is true transforms into something new. Would it surprise you that much of ancient knowledge no longer applies? We are an integral part of a highly dynamic whole, which is also on an evolutionary path and there is no static perspective or truth. And yet, the laws that govern evolution – the ageless wisdom – do persist. For how long? I don’t know. Maybe they are only true on the earth plane….Will they still be true beyond, as the one Life evolves?

It is in our nature to want certainty and the comfort that comes with it. But certainly is not a spiritual path for the simple reason that when you are certain, you have nothing more to learn – you stop despite the natural tendency to grow. On a true spiritual path, you are never on stable ground when you are learning that there is “no ground” – not the way you imagined it, anyway. To honor growth is to surrender to It completely, and then even more completely, and so on, discarding outmoded barriers and forms along the way.

The past year was full of surprises in the changes I had undergone – quite rapidly  and unexpectedly. The identification with Spirit, expressing through the soul body is now stable. All the bodies under the soul – physical, mental, and emotional have become subordinate to the soul as useful tools in relating to Life. This was after I had already shifted my consciousness out of the three physical sheaths and became Soul. Each time I was surprised that the change continued.

Another unexpected change was to the presence of the Mystic Fire – the fire that purifies and releases consciousness. Over the years, I grew to live this fire after dreading and hating it deeply. The first time I felt the Ego burn, it felt like sheer embarrassment that I wanted to run from. Over a period of years I became the fire itself, and everything else was turning to ash. I began to love living as flame, noticing the different qualities it manifests in people.

The unrefined fire is a quality, rather than identity, and manifests as cruelty, bluntness, and sarcasm. It is closely associated with reactivity under Egoic control. Many intellectuals display this harshness. 

As the Fire burns with greater purity, there is still plenty of heat. But this heat is controlled for the highest good of others, and ceases to serve as a venting outlet. There is compassion pouring through the force of fire. Fire is part of the Mental plane – the use of the mental body (and not necessarily the mind).

In recent days, my Mystic Fire was  cooled by the currents descending from the soul body. I was no longer a flame, but a fluid, cool, dynamic presence washing through the body. This fluidity of movement moves as one, with no breaks in it, and appears to be pure consciousness. It has a quality of radiance, but does not burn. Ash does not burn, if the analogy is to continue. I was so used to being fire that I was quite dismayed by its absence.

I can no longer identify even with being a mystic, which – to me – means that I can no longer identify with the spiritual path at all. I am, but that is all – for now.

I’ve learned – in rapid succession- that nothing is free of change. Change occurs and is often not what one expects, but it is unstoppable and has its own schedule. Furthermore, there is a tendency to grow both into Spirit and into matter – as a bridge relates two seemingly separate shores.

Surprisingly, the personality maintains its basic qualities of humor and other tendencies, but these are softened overall. It also becomes less predictable. As consciousness shifts, the personality adjusts and refines under the pressure of the light.

Such transformation occurs only by recognizing and surrendering all that is false – all the shields and barricades from Life. These do not go without a battlecry and not without discomfort. The intense energy of change dredges up all to be seen. The only path is through, until one becomes the path, and then even the path vanishes.

As we grow, we develop our own checks and balances for discovering when we are stuck. This process must become more evolved than trusting “intuition” because intuition is limited by the level of consciousness. We simply do not have the “full” level of surrender, anf life continuously tests us in tailored ways to let us know where we are.  

What next? I have no idea. And it doesn’t matter. There is no longer this desire for more insight or growth because it is apparent growth is inevitable and will occur anyway.

What’s left? Relationship to Life. Realization alone does not build the channels and connections, and conscious attention is needed to make connections at all levels and to nurture them.

Contrary to some claims, no-self is quite possible and real – especially when one lives it. After the reality of no-self, there is an awareness of a group of souls working as one, as well as the group consciousness at various scales on the planet. One moves from “individuality” to further encompassing group flow. But even individuality consists of all the small conscious atomic lives and is actually also a group consciousness. 

So, we move to greater unity – that is natural – until the unity moves as us. And the consciousness reaches ever further until all changes again in very fundamental ways.

This reminds me a bit of the discrete energy levels of the atom – when an atom is hit by the correct energy of light, its electrons jump energy levels – but not until that point of having just the right energy of light being absorbed. These electron energy jumps are discrete, just like transformation, and display a profound change. Similarly, after an atom is excited it emanates the light to all Life. But this is where the analogy breaks down. Consciousness shines, but its light does not diminish because it draws its energy from something beyond the limits of current awareness. 

Who can talk of any absolutes when there is only the evolving story of the mystery of Life?

Blue Love

The Earth opens wide her arms. She keeps this blue space for us in her embrace, as we dance about on rock, wood, stone, and water, amidst seeming chaos, and surrounded by life.

Our dance. Our dreams. And she is always beneath our feet, poised. What will we do with all of our wonder, gifts, and fear?

Moved by confusion within her  clouds, the cosmos blinks, and blinks once more. Time stops, and the collection of moments merge from blur into focus – as this moment. The infinite ceases to be a meaningless metaphor.

We cannot own any thing or any being, but we continue to believe we can. We grasp at people and objects, but they flow through our shadows and the years pass by. Even the atoms of our bodies are on loan from the cosmic foam.

The clouds swirls into new eddies. It has never been just about the quality of life or the quality of people in our lives. It has never been about being right or wielding power. Illusion is the blood that circulates through our hearts to the point that we do not even know our hearts.

And the Earth still holds us in her green, blue, and yellow. The Sun smiles at her love and surrender. He knows she grows with us and has her own growing pains, and yet we are unconscious of her as a Being and take her for granted.

The greatest loss is in not loving enough, not feeling deeply enough, and rushing through life unconscious. And love requires connection, always connection.

What does this have to do with daily life, pain, and suffering? How is this even vaguely relevant? We are here. We take and give what we can. And we die. Our bodies are just atoms – fragments merging right back into Blue Love to be present when new life bursts open. Why not embrace her as she embraces us? She is also but a cosmic traveler, so we have that in common.

In every moment, she is there, but ignored in thought and deed, as we dance to the tune of self-absorption.

We measure time in hours, days, and years. We measure our time. But the cosmos is unfolding its light and sound with no knowledge of our life’s logistics. And yet, it knows us too because we are its very space, always expanding. What if we felt what the cosmos feels? What if we felt the Earth as she truly is? What if we cared so deeply that we saw ourselves as we really are beneath layers if veneers we choose as our life’s clothing? And then we would see apparent others as they are….

If you move your mind to touch a star, already you know that even space does not really separate us, and time does not exist.